EPISODE 60: POLITICAL PEP RALLIES AT 10 CLOVERFIELD

Musings Include:

  • The Most Wonderful Time of the Year.
  • Political Conventions.
  • High School Pep Rallies.
  • Trump Train.
  • Plagiarism and Racism.
  • What do they mean?
  • Malenia Trump.
  • Born with a face beyond her country.
  • Trump; Importer ExporterVote for Hilllary!  Why?
  • 10 Cloverfield Lane.
  • The Idiots Review.

EPISODE 56: MUHAMMAD ALI AND THE WRATH OF GOD

Musings Include:

  • Muhammad Ali, not a fan.
  • Peaceful muslims.
  • Baby in a gorilla cage.
  • I hope it’s racist.
  • To kill a gorilla.
  • Or not to kill a gorilla.
  • Jack Hannah and
  • Gorilla target practice.
  • Keeping humans out
  • Of animal cages.
  • Aguirre: The Wrath of God
  • The Idiots review

EPISODE 45: STAR WARS AND SEX

Musings Include:

  • My Star Wars shirt isn’t cool anymore.
  • Cheering at the movies.
  • Carrie Fisher’s resume.
  • Peter Cushing you Idiot!
  • Samuel Jackson is a mother fucking jedi.
  • Match.com has a lot of Yugoslavian women
  • Phone sex for Christmas.
  • Six pre-marriage sex questions.
  • What kind of porn do you watch?  Regular.

EPISODE 38: BRUCE THE BUNNY AND SUPERMAN

Musings Include:

  • Kardashians and Jenners are alive and well?
  • Where is God?
  • Caitlynn, not as funny as Monty Python.
  • Period shaming and physical fitness.
  • Ferguson, a tradition you just can’t kill.
  • Mozart, John Williams and Oingo Boingo.
  • 1978 Superman, The Idiots Review.

EPISODE 33: SHAMING JACK BURTON AND GRACIE LAW

Musings Include:

  •  To shame or not to shame.
  • I eat bunny poop.
  • Public shaming and personal shaming.
  • Cured child molesters and their flyers.
  • Nancy Grace and Tater Tots
  • Idiots At The Movies.
  • Big Trouble Little China.
  • Can openers, back scratchers and other martial arts weapons.
  • Not bad enough to be bad funny.

EPISODE 32: MULTICOLORED LADY AND NO PLACE LIKE HOME

Musings Include:

  • The NAACP does so much good.
  • Rachel Dolezal in Malibu’s Most Wanted II.
  • Colored?
  • Caitlyn.  There’s still a dick there.
  • You are unique, special and an astronaut.
  • I identify as a mog.
  • The most nonracist racist thing in the news.
  • Idiots at the movies.
  • The Wizard of Oz. A movie about a dog.
  • Terrible childhood messages.

EPISODE 31: SECRET SERVICE AND SELFIES

Musings include:

  • Secret Service At Your Service.
  • Navy Seals of the Mall.
  • We’re all doomed.
  • Johnny Depp’s pet trafficking.
  • Harry Shearer, we’ll miss your mighty wind.
  • Widower thanking God.
  • Selfies and daily affirmations.
  • I want it all to be about me.
  • Shitter Selfies and other societal downfalls.

EPIDSODE 30: BALTIMORE, BRUCE AND BODY LOTION

Musings Include:

  •  The Wire?
  • Racial Tensions and Slim Jims.
  • Jenner’s important work.
  • Jeffrey Tambour is all man.
  • Bruce, you’ve come a long way baby.
  • I walked away 3 minutes ago and you’re still talking.
  • Premature melding.
  • Nature centered spirituality.
  • Singing praises to the moon barefoot in winter.
  • She’s a witch.

 

Episode 28: Two Beer Murphy and Tanning Goggles.

Musings Include:

  • Angry Grandpa.
  •  Fighting drunks with your eight year old.
  •  Don’t fuck with Grandma’s flower.
  •  Family vacations and contraband runs.
  •  The peanut butter to my jelly.
  •  Sensitive sarcasm.
  •  My brain works pretty well.
  •  Would you like UV with that?
  •  Tanning with Kardashian blood.

Episode 27: BIBLICAL KICKSTARTERS AND MUD RUNS

Musings Include:

  • Hands up or hands out.
  • The brilliance of Barnaby Jones.
  • 70’s babes.  Wilma.
  • I killed a man.  Go fund me.
  • Cyber begging.
  • Appropriate silliness.
  • Please tell me about your current boyfriend.
  • 30 Something’s Mud Runs.
  • Baby making crossfit.

EPISODE 26: ISIS JOKES AND GOOD TASTE

Musings Include:

  • Knock Knock, Who’s There?  ISIS.
  • Nothing but Star Trek.
  • SNL Stars and the Cinema.
  • Darryl Hammond and Comedic Affirmative Action.
  • Good Manners, Good Stock and Other Snobby Desires.
  • I love good English and delicious restaurants.
  • Relationship sense of humor test.
  • This isn’t going to end well.

 

EPISODE 25: OK ANIMAL HOUSE AND DRESSAGE

Musings Include:

  • Racist chants sweeping down the plains.
  • Jerry Falwell packs a punch.
  • Party on Waka Flocka.
  • A few extra pounds.
  • But wait there’s more.
  • Got to falut when you’re high.
  • Dressage is horse shit.
  • 50 year old Cindy Crawford is hot.
  • I don’t recycle my free Rolling Stone.

 

EPISODE 24: BAD BOYS WHAT YOU GONNA DO?

Musings Include:

  • Driving with your au jus.
  • Burgers and pistol whipping.
  • Proper policing with whistles and stern words.
  • I Love the Eighties: John Candy and Menudo.
  • Relationship Advice:  I get that you’re crying, but this is the fourth quarter.
  • Something deeper than emotion and spirituality.
  • Sex Resolutions.
  • Wants, desires and safe words.

EPISODE 23: SUPERBOWL AND OTHER LOVE HATE RELATIONSHIPS

Musings Include:

  • Superbowl; 12 fun filled hours of cancer, dead children and spousal abuse.
  • Eating your weight in cheese.
  • Katy Perry and other offensive penalties.
  • Ground Hog Day; ass clowns in top hats and vermin.
  • Only a moderate drinker?
  • Valentine’s Day;  Honey, you’re an XL right?
  • Cuddling should be seasonal and only with a permit.
  • My friends are always cooler than hers.

EPISODE 22: AGING, CHEESE AND INTERNET DATING

Musings Include:

  • The significance of WWII and French Jokes.
  • Been an old man since I was 25.
  • Stop making music.
  • Other people….blechk.
  • What happened to the old high five.
  • Leave me alone with my stories and my cheese.
  •  She’s 41 and ready to start having children.
  • Holding out for Joel Osteen, his money and teeth.
  • Best preschool music and drama teacher in the country.

 

Episode 21: AS SEEN ON TV AND SNATCHES OF MY DREAMS, THEY’RE NOT WHAT YOU THINK.

Musings Include:

  • Shopping and sex, very similar.
  • Buyer’s remorse and return shame.
  • I actually paid for this.
  • What a piece of shit that was
  • Not available in stores
  • A theater professional you can’t live without.
  • It’s the unseen that will touch my soul
  • Songs of her snatches
  • Another man fathered the child that should have been yours
  • And other terrifying statements by women on dating sites.

EPISODE 20: IDIOTS NIGHT OUT.

Musings Include:

  • Standing in the corner making fun of everyone.
  • Cornhole street fights.
  • Crotch grabs and other effective introductions.
  • Why am I drinking Cosmos!
  • So you’re a stripper?
  • Depression, Anxiety and Migraines…..Oh My!
  • I don’t care what she looks like, I just want to leave.
  • Dating infomercials, set her and forget her.
  • Temporary implants, Rent-A-Rack.
  • I suck, but I’m going to be me!

EPISODE 19: PIA ZADORA, MARTIANS AND OTHER WONDERFUL HOLIDAY TRADITIONS.

Musings Include:

  •  Holiday Movies
  • One of the few Ernest movies I haven’t seen.
  • Jamie Lee Curtis….shitting her brains out.
  • Many Miles and many Otis’s.
  • Shannon Dougherty educational planning.
  • It was funny, it didn’t have Jack Black in it.
  • A vanilla scented Quaker who’s a classically trained new formalist poet.
  • Law, neuroscience and bio-anthropology, she’s got it all.
  • Summersaults in the ocean at sunset.

EPISODE 18: ALONE AGAIN, UNNATURALLY.

Musings Include:

  • Excursions alone.
  • Solo shame eating.
  • How early can you leave a wedding?
  • Doesn’t everyone watch the Superbowl alone?
  • I don’t look like the mannequins…I don’t want to look like the mannequins.
  • Cocaine, the Lucky Charms for strippers.
  • A beautiful rose is worth pricking your finger on and other internet dating gems.
  • Talented artists and their horse pictures.
  • Women’s health and how to turn on a guy, Idiots date night.

EPISODE 17: DEATH, DATING AND A DOMINATRIX.

Musings Include:

  • Death and landscaping.
  • Dead bodies and small staircases.
  • Funeral food!
  • Real Estate Flippers for the dead.
  • Where do you keep your dead?
  • Gay romance novels…
  • Do they sell those at the supermarket?
  • Common fetishes, everyone needs their special thing.
  • Don’t forget your safe word.

Episode 16: THERE SHE IS, AUNT JEMIMA, AND DATING CHARLES MANSON.

Musings Include:

  • Miss Delaware, how could you?
  • People in Florida are really bad at math.
  • From Miss America to Nathan’s.
  • LA Beast, Aunt Jemima, and Crystal Pepsi,
  • Baseball cards, Hot Wheels and Jawa’s,
  • Hateable and Undateable, a nonprofit, volunteer activist.
  • Be Do Have
  • Shooting things and burning gas, what fun!
  • Dreamy murderers and the women who love them.

EPISODE 15: NO MORE SATURDAY MORNING TRIPS.

Musings Include:

  • Drugs and Monkeys, childhood Saturday mornings.
  • The Terrifying Land of Make Believe and Nuclear Proliferation.
  • Zoom and the communist manifesto.
  • I have went to school I like crab legs my dad died when I was three.
  • The Worst Run-On Sentence Ever.
  • Olive Garden, Bojangles and other fine cuisine.
  • Hateable and Undateable a how-to guide.

Episode 13: PRINCESS DI AND A BAY OF PIGS

Musings Include:

  • Horse-toothed inbred royalty.
  • Weddings are fun, right?
  • Creepy Daddy Daughter dance.
  • Can’t lose those memories.
  • Slow plane coming.
  • Unmastering of the English Language?  Well put.
  • No flip flop sandles please.
  • Date frowning and hurrying up the waiter.
  • Internet porn…an IT guys perspective.
  • Blackberry pervs.
  • Lisa Ann is killing it.

Episode 12: Bringing Ebola Back.

Musings Include:

  • Does ALS make you cold?
  • Bringing Ebola back.
  • Let’s cure those gays!
  • No queer eye for the blind guy.
  • Connie Mack and the War Machine.  What are we talking about?
  • Dog The Bounty Hunter, a last cigarette and Jesus Bro.
  • What is a tortoise?
  • I love the color green, I really do.
  • Beiber Scents.
  • Lunch or Lasik?
  • ¾ of an idiot.
  • First date horror stories.

Episode 11: Toto and Mork, All good things must come to an end.

Musings Include:

  • Yoda says few listeners we have.
  • Joe Rogan rules.
  • Cocaine is the thing.
  • 2 Retards make for a dangerous room.
  • Two idiot keyboardists fighting over the ugly one.
  • Placemat maze.  I’m lost.
  • Robin Williams.  Cut…It…Out.
  • Flubber Fatality.
  • How is Jeff Goldblum?
  • Doubtfire good movies, Doubtfire bad movies.
  • 74 year old baller.  She thinks I’m hot.
  • There’s going to be a cat.
  • Only one picture of Jerry Jones and the stripper, thank God.

Episode 10: I’m Over Smurfette.

Musings Include:

  • Opera is dying…because it’s terrible.
  • The theater and I don’t want to wear pants.
  • Legitimate silly walk
  • A single weirdo camping amongst children.
  • Hell Comes To Frog Town…a great fucking movie.
  • The Coreys…..most irresponsible parents in the world.
  • Idiots hate John Cusak….as a person and as an actor.
  • Pain Don’t Hurt, Patrick Swayze’s camel toe.
  • Rowdy Roddy Piper
  • Not a hippy.  What’s a hippy?
  • Fish Don’t Have Eyes
  • A bad ending to a bad list.  No more Redbook.

Episode 9: Anthony Cumia, Bea Arthur and a Gay Whopper, who could ask for anything more.

Musings Include:

  • Anthony Cumia and the beanstalk…..A Ghandi thing.
  • Kick Start Potato Salad.
  • Litigious Loser Homer Simpson Look A Like.
  • Talkin’ Baseball, Bobby, Bernie and the Mets.
  • Naked Prince?
  • Swing dancing healer who’s good with computers and such.
  • Crones and Colitis, she’s hot.
  • Children…who are these people.
  • Tour Of Duty on the playstationbox.
  • Proud Whopper Draped In A Rainbow.

Introduction

“Life….it is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.”

A quote by William Shakespeare (whoever that is), and perhaps, this show’s motto.

McNeil Lehrer.  Huntley Brinkley.  Scott Todd.  Sacco Venzetti.

All hilariously funny teams from the annuls of American societal commentary.

The idiots of Musings of Idiots will never be included in the conversation with the above, nor do they aspire to be.

Just two simpletons commenting on this crazy world we call home…..for now, but more on interplanetary travel later.

We hope you will enjoy whiling away some of your idle time listing to Musings of Idiots.

If nothing else, you’ll feel much smarter having listened.  Not due to content, but by mere comparison.

Please contact me with any requested topics of discussion, casserole recipes, or other comments at musingsofidiots@gmail.com.

Good Luck and God Speed,

Billie Quiverlance (Mrs.)

Producer, Engineer, Exotic Trapeze Performer